


Words

by Soukoku_luv



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, No Spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 13,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21906292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soukoku_luv/pseuds/Soukoku_luv
Summary: Little stories of Ash's journey through life, through (mostly) foreign words.Latest chapter 29:Time to say goodbye.(Each chapters are read alone stories.)
Comments: 92
Kudos: 324





	1. Chapter 1: Index

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an Index page or soemthing for people who're looking for a specific character.

Chapters list:

2\. **Fernweh** : About a life left behind…

3\. **Kalopsia** : When the hatred burns deep. 

4\. **Eccendentsiast** : Smile, smile, and put on a happy face! 

5\. **Hiraeth** : ...And a home you can never return to.

6\. **Sonder**. Kalos was a shitstorm. 

7\. **Kefi** : An interlude, feat Goh. 

8\. **Ohana** : Of experiencing human kindness. Feat Kukui and Burnet. 

9\. **Backpfeifengesicht** : Lovingly featuring Paul, plus a very stressed Brock and Dawn.

10\. **Athazagoraphobia** : Fears unfounded, feat a professor who should just adopt him now. 

11\. **Anhedonia** : A weighty conscience featuring Brock, the struggling mental support. 

12\. **Latibule** : Trios are overrated, quartets are the new thing. Feat some sleep deprived Rockets. 

13\. **Ellubient** : ADHD has nothing on this kid. 

14\. **Undefined** : Dark shit in Kalos, again. Feat. a concerned and very confused Professor Sycamore. 

15\. **Serein** : Fancy some mixed languages? Sycamore is not ready for this (though who would be?)

16\. **Atelophobia** : Fears and angst. Enjoy!

17\. **Kintskuroi** : Pottery is an art form. Some cosmic beings clearly have no skills. Featuring a lost Kukui.

18\. **Orenda** : A hate letter to Red. 

19\. **Mother's day** : Romance stories will never work out, and loneliness lasts, Delia should know. This is her life. 

20\. **Madrugada** : Secret codes and angry 'mon. An ordinary day for the twerp and trio. 

21\. **GLUGGAVEĐUR**. A look into the life of Ash Ketchum. Because, though money makes the world go round, it can't fix everything. 

22\. **Defenestration** : TR & twerp bonding time. On a plane. 30,000 feet in the air. In a storm. 

23\. **Lachesism** : You reap what you sow. Enjoy the journey Goh! 

24\. **Deathbed** : A song fic. Because one was necessary.

25\. **Querencia** : Comfort where it's due. A featurette including Lucario. Kind-of.

26\. **Weltschmerz** : Parents… Uh, such effort. Feat Lillie and Lusamine. 

27\. **Azerbaijan** : Chole's point of view. 

28\. **Taradiddle** : White lies are still lies children. 

29\. **Verléieren** : Say goodbye, in a very dramatic fashion.


	2. Fernweh (Rewritten)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I did a rewrite of this chapter cause I didn't like the other one. Hope you enjoy!!!

Fernweh: ( _noun_ ) An ache for a distant place. The craving of travel.

* * *

He always loved travelling. He knew that.

_“Mama hurry up! We’re going to miss the plane!”_

_“Slow down Ashy, the plane doesn’t leave for hours!”_

Travel was in his blood. It was in his mind and soul.

_“What did you dream about Ash?”_

_“It was so amazing! I saw so many Pokémon and went all around the world. I can’t wait to be a trainer!”_

A constant ache that never ceased to pass. An ache so different from the daily physical pains he experienced, or the pains of missing home.

_It was strange, the ache was still there. Even after months on the road, what more was he missing in the world?_

He feels it, every time he steps onto foreign ground, when he senses the aura of a different place. 

_Aura changed the ache. Just so subtly, but still enough to leave him breathless as his feet his solid ground every time._

It was a dream born from childish desire. The endless goal to push forward and explore. The world never stopped turning, so why should he?

_The world almost ended and he died again. It was back to normal the next day and he was alive again._

He’d met so many people along the road, both good and bad. But they have never failed to teach him something. Be it humility or courage, rage or kindness, he had experienced it all on his longwinded path.

_Why was the world so corrupt to let these people continue to cause evil? And why were there so few to defend and fight for the greater good?_

A path that he learnt long ago that he would never stray from.

_He tried to say no once._

_He payed the price for it._

_Now he knows fate is inevitable, especially for him._

For no matter how may roots he planted, he knew he could never stay.

_Goodbyes hurt the most. It was the feeling of knowing that these were just more people he hurt._

_He couldn’t stop though._

_Every time he tried; the ache returned with furious vengeance._

He was a traveler at heart, and travelers always moved on.


	3. Kalopsia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The words mentioned may not be from the English language, so I'm sorry beforehand if anyone gets offended by my loose interpretations of these words. Enjoy the story anyway and leave a comment!

Kalopsia: ( _noun_ ). The delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are.

* * *

Legendaries.

They were creatures of myths, creatures that were rarely seen but never forgotten. People held them with various types of acknowledgement, reverence and fear.

They were the beings that made the world what it is as they wanted it to be.

They truly were gods in the eyes of mortals.

But he saw them differently.

He saw them as creatures of evil, monsters of jealousy, greed and pride. Most of all, they were creatures of wrath and anger.

These creatures could kill humans without a second doubt, and yet, all that the world had to protect themselves with was a boy and his Pikachu. A boy and his Pikachu to save the world, time and time again from destruction and doom. To lay his life down countless times so that the anger of the gods could be sated, and the lives of others could be saved.

The legendaries had let him down, but their reputation as almighty and powerful beings could not be ruined for the rest of the world.

All the world’s pains rested on their colossal shoulders. And yet the burdens these creatures carried rested on the shoulders of their Chosen One.

But he mustn’t be dragged down by the weight of hopelessness and despair, because those cruel beings had to be revered by the masses.

And he has to save them all. 

He was Chosen after all, wasn't he?


	4. Eccedentesiast

Eccedentesiast: ( _noun_ ) Someone who hides pain behind a smile.

* * *

She looked at him, hope still shining vibrantly in her eyes as her brother stands next to her, with those same adoring eyes.

Ash stared back, with despair deep within his bones but a grin drawn wide across his face. His face was reassuring, not for him, but for Bonnie and Clemont. They still believed everything was alright, and that everything would be restored once the problem was fixed.

But Ash knew otherwise.

He always knew, and he hated himself for it.

He knew the consequences of meddling with the affairs of the legendaries, and now it was going to rebound on them, horribly. Everything that was done had its own equal and opposite consequence. Ash couldn’t understand how so many were blind tot hat simple concept.

He stood up from his crouch next to Bonnie. Negativity burned his veins and filled his muscles with acid, but his gait did not betray his inner turmoil. He moved with grace and confidence, as if the chance meeting with Xerneas and Yveltal had not baffled him, as if watching Pikachu turn to stone had not affected him in the slightest. He certainly did not _look_ as if he would collapse from the slightest breeze, but that was how he felt.

Weary and tired, his mind filled with visions of the conclusion of his Kalos journey. The conference, the crisis, and the deaths that would inevitably follow in its wakes.

He once thought that his ability to see into the future was a blessing, as he could save the people that were about to die. However, he learnt soon afterwards that death was not something that even he could stop.

The loss of their lives were inevitable.

The visions were only to help him and him alone, a curse set upon him by the legendaries that simultaneously empowered him and made him feel the weakest that he’d ever been

He could see their deaths, and could do nothing but offer fake smiles and empty words to make himself feel less guilty for their deaths.


	5. Hiraeth

Hiraeth: (noun) A homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, home that maybe never was, and the yearning for lost places of your past.

* * *

The Alolan night was blissfully quiet. There were no sounds of humans, cars or any other vehicles. All that he could hear was the gentle lapping of waves onto the sandy beach and Pikachu’s light breaths next to him on the sand.

He gazed up from where he was laying, spread out on the sand to look up at the stars. They glowed so bright so clearly, reflecting the spirit of Alola high up into the skies for all to see. This was the last night he would enjoy here, for tomorrow was the day he would leave the island and the professors to go back to Kanto.

Back to his mother and his home.

It had been so long since he’d gone back, and now home felt like foreign word on his lips.

When he had begun his journey in Kanto, all those years ago, his nights were filled with nerves and worries, with the awful feelings in his stomach that yearned for his mum and the familiar scent of his bed. It was homesickness back then; he’d almost given up his lifelong dream due to the crippling effects it had on him. He went home frequently back then, too afraid to be alone for too long.

The visits soon started slowing down as the legendary encounters mounted, and his dreams were filled with death instead of the comfort of home. He soon only visited once a year, when he came back to go to another region, and somewhere in between, the phone calls became non-existent.

He now only called Professor Oak out of necessity, and rarely even talked to him directly.

Home wasn’t a home anymore. It was a place where he rested before beginning another journey, off to meet new people and Pokémon. And yet, he still missed it. In a weird way, he missed the house, the walls that held so many of his childhood memories, so many of his triumphs and failures. It was were he grew up, a place which he missed so much, but knew he could never return to.

He destroyed the chances of having a normal family. He estranged his mother, and thus a bond that could only stretch and strain for so long before it broke.


	6. Sonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Warning about death and a curse word in there. Next chapter should be a happier one.  
> Enjoy!

Sonder: ( _noun_ ) The realization that each person is living a life as vivid as your own.

* * *

He warned them.

Time and time again he warned them to run, screamed at them to get away from the tower, begged them to leave the city.

And yet no-one listened.

No-one gave a fuck about what the stupid kid from Kanto had to say about Lumiose. No-one cared what he had to say, not when he told them about Lysandre, and certainly not when he insulted their gods. The people of Kalos respected Zygarde and never believed that he would purposefully attack his own people.

“And now where are those people?” Ash spoke aloud to the quiet streets. His voice trembled with a quiet anger and sadness, anger at the people for not listening to him. They were all too selfless, all trying to be heroes when in reality, all it meant was that they would soon lie dead.

He gazed across the barren road, a lone car had been abandoned nearby, its owner probably dead. The vines still pulsed a sickening shade as Ash used them to help him stand up. He wasn’t too injured, maybe some damaged ribs and a cut here and there, nothing a legendaries healing couldn’t fix. As for the poor man on the ground next to him, there was no hope. He was a man Ash had never even seen before, but had saved his life by standing in front of a Pokémon attack. Ash knew he could have handled the flames, but the man was too selfless.

Yet another casualty.

This man could have been a doctor, or a firefighter. He could have saved many lives instead of his. He may have had a wife and children of his own. He may have had a life far from here, but he died, trying to save him, a boy who was just a stranger in his life.

He died, trying to save the boy that could never die, not truly.

The lady laying in a pool of blood across the street could have been a teacher, a dancer, a scientist. She could have been the key to solving the cures for cancer, or the prodigy that inspired the next generation. Next to her, a little boy, barely five years old, could have been the region's next leader, or champion, or professor, making the lives of humans and Pokémon alike more prosperous and better.

All of these innocent people were important in their own right, to those around them, and to the world as whole. And here they were, lying dead, broken and bruised.

The stars didn't shine over Lumiose. The gods had abandoned them to the warth of one of their own.

Ash tried to save them, he truly did. And now for his failures, he had to carry the burden of their deaths on him, yet another tragedy he failed to prevent. Yet many more lives he failed to protect. Nevertheless, his duty to the legendaries remained. He had to stop the Zygarde that was being controlled, die in the process, be reborn, the continue his life as beforehand.

Unlike the people below him, who never even stood a chance.


	7. Kefi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year's!!!!

Kefi: ( _Noun_ ) The spirit of joy, enthusiasm, high spirits and passion for life that are expressed with an abundance of excitement, happiness and fun.

* * *

Ash was a passionate person, as Gou soon found out after meeting him.

He was a boy who was passionate about everything.

He loved Pokémon.

He loved battles.

He loved his friends and family.

And he loved life.

It was evident in the way he acted, the way he talked and in everything he did. He treated every person as if they were the last he would meet and he spoke every sentence like they were the last he would speak. Ash Ketchum treated every day that he woke up as his last.

And that made him unique. It made him special, the fact that he could understand life so easily, a concept that Gou could not grasp no matter how hard he tried. He could feel so deeply, the flow of life through everything. He could empathize with Pokémon and understand them, in a way that Gou’s scientific mind could not comprehend.

The days were never ordinary for Gou after he stayed with Ash. He was able to experience life to the fullest, see things that he never imagined he could and do things he never thought he could. Ash was a window to a new and better world to replace Gou’s previous dull and monotonous life. However, this way of living did come with some hefty warning signs.

Ash told him about the criminal gangs, about Team Rocket, the violence, the fights and life-threatening situations that they might face. He told Gou about all of this with a grim face, sadness and hidden guilt in his eyes. Gou could tell there were more to warnings than that. There was a multitude of stories buried underneath the words that Ash spoke, but he wasn’t ready to talk.

And Gou wasn’t prepared to hear yet either.

In fact, he was just stunned that Ash could still keep smiling after all of that, even after all the bad luck and misfortune that was thrown his way.

Gou was beginning to understand more about the weirdness that was Ash Ketchum, and he was enjoying it all.


	8. Ohana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another New Year's chapter! I Love STITCH!!!!

Ohana: _(noun_ ) It means family, not just the ones who are blood-related, but all those close to you, including friends and neighbours.

* * *

Ash was alone on New Year’s Eve.

Just like last year, after he was hung up high above Lumiose.

And the year before that, after Unova, heavily depressed and unwilling to return home just yet.

And many years prior. The last New Year’s that he has spent comfortably and happily was in Kanto, returning home to his mum with all his Pokémon, dragging Misty and Brock along with him and leaving his failures at the doorstep to enjoy time with his family.

It was not so easy this year.

With no-one next to him to cry on, or to openly talk to without being looked at with pity and sadness, he decided that it would be best if he stayed away from the beach. And that’s why he decided to go into the forest.

To get away from it all.

To get away from the joyful screams of children, the laughter and the feeling of belonging.

Because he clearly did not belong.

He was an outsider and not even a part of anyone’s family.

And yet as he stumbled further into the forest, he heard voices behind him, shouting his name out loud.

“Pikapi!” That was Pikachu, the electric blur that had always tried to be there for him, his own little ball of hope and joy.

“Ash! Wait for us to catch up!” It was Professor Kukui, and he was running through the forests and leaping over fallen logs in an attempt to reach Ash. And just behind him was Professor Burnet, with the rest of Ash’s Pokémon in tow.

They all reached him at once, only the sound of laboured breaths as the Professors straightened up.

“Ash don’t run off,” Professor Kukui pleaded and Ash soon felt tears building up in his eyes as his muscles tensed up.

“Oh Ash,” Burnet cried, as she reached forward to hug him. Ash flinched hard and stepped back, clearly not wanting to be touched. He froze for a moment, and his eyes soon began loose focus as his breathing became more frequent and shallower. Kukui panicked and took a step word, raising his hands placating manner in Ash’s view.

“Ash, do you remember the word we explained at home? Do you remember what it means?”

“It’s what you have here Ash,” Burnet continued, “It’s all of us sweetheart, it’s Pikachu, it’s me and Professor Kukui, all your Pokémon, your friends at school and all the people you’ve met and love.”

“It’s everyone Ash, everyone that _you_ love and everyone that loves you. Ohana means family, and family means nobody is left behind or forgotten. And that means you too.”

Kukui reached out tentatively, weary of Ash flinching again. He touched his shoulder, and when that gained no response, he spoke;

“Ash, I am going to hug you now if that’s ok?” And yet still no response. And so, Kukui reached out and embraced Ash in a gentle hug, soon followed by Burnet all his other Pokémon.

They sat there in that position for a while, with Ash still not moving or speaking, until Kukui felt tears soaking his lab coat. He moved away from their embrace and looked at Ash, to see the boy had tears streaming down his face, breathing unevenly and hugging Pikachu with all his might.

“Thank you, Professor,” He finally spoke, his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper.

“This means more than you can imagine.”


	9. Backpfeifengesicht

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Paul deserves it?
> 
> Also, do you want more of the Alola cast? Comment below, and I'll see what I can write :)

* * *

Backpfeifengesicht: (noun) A face in need of a fist.

* * *

If there was a prize for the most arrogant, self-centred prick in the whole of Sinnoh, it would have to go to Paul. And that would be him at the _best_ of times. At his worst, he was a heartless and cruel boy who should have never been given the opportunity to pick up a Pokéball.

Now, Ash was a nice guy.

It wasn’t just his own opinion, but the opinion of many around him.

Ash Ketchum did not have a single mean bone in his body, and he certainly did not get angry at wayward trainers. His trademark personality was kindness and generosity to all.

And that’s why it was so jarring for Dawn to see when he lashed out at Paul, aiming a vicious punch straight for his nose. The crack of bone and the cry of pain that followed sent warning bells in Brock brain as he turned to shout at Dawn to find an Officer Jenny, anyone that could break up the inevitable beatdown that Paul was about to receive.

But Brock knew something that Dawn didn’t.

When Ash got pissed, he loses it.

While most people released their anger regularly and at smaller things, Ash Ketchum took it an extra mile. He was like a ticking time bomb, holding it all in and releasing it at once on an unlucky person that may have sent him off. The first explosion that Brock witnessed was against Gary Oak of all people. But Gary took the punches like a champ, and even tossed a few back before an officer intervened and stopped them before the fight got uglier. 

They were both pretty injured after that

But this felt worse.

Because Paul would not have any clue how to defend himself against Ash’s wild attacks.

*

‘Dawn better hurry up.’


	10. Athazagoraphobia

Athazagoraphobia: (noun) The fear of being forgotten, ignored, or being replaced.

* * *

"Will you forget me when I leave? "

It was asked so randomly and so out of the blue that Kukui struggled to understand what was being said a first. Why would Ash, of all people ask that question? If anything, Kukui wondered, it should be him asking Ash that question.

So why did he ask it now, just as they were about to leave for the airport? Kukui’s mind was speeding to think of something to say, anything in fact, to comfort the boy, as Burnet wasn’t there to help him this time. 

“Ash, why would you ever feel that way?” Kukui was confused, and was now determined to understand Ash’s thought process and to help him, at least one last time. His reaction, reflected also by Pikachu, was strange and so unlike him. His eyes stared down at the ground while his whole body twitched in nervous energy. He wasn’t even paying attention to the small electrical discharges from Pikachu as it read it’s trainer’s emotions. 

“ Please answer the question professor,” he spoke quietly and with a sense of detachment, “ You don’t need to hear my reasons, I just want to know the truth.” At the end of the sentence, his voice cracked with emotion, which seemed to surprise him. 

And suddenly it all made sense, at least in Kukui’s mind. In his roundabout way, Ash was saying farewell, but of course there as something else underneath that. With Ash, there would always be something else. 

He sighed wearily as he replied. There was so much that he wanted to say to Ash, and he would start now.

“ How can I forget someone who changed my life? How can I forget the person who led me to my dreams, my wife, a better future? How can I possibly ever forget the boy who brought light to Alola, who saved and changed so many lives? How can I, or anyone forget the boy who stood up to our deities and changed them for good?" 

"Ash, how can I forget you, after all that you’ve done for me?”


	11. Anhedonia

Anhedonia: (noun) The loss of interest and enjoyment in all activities that you once liked; the feeling of not caring anymore.

* * *

It had been eight days since Ash announced he was quitting. Eight days after he released most of his Pokemon, threw away his trophies and badges and proclaimed a self-exile into his room. 

Seven days since he cut communication with friends in other regions.

Six days since since he talked to his mom.

Five days since Brock was asked to visit.

Four days since he stopped eating altogether.

Three days without any sounds or voices from his room, not even with Pikachu there. 

The last two days were the same if not worse, as not even Delia could not bear to be in a house that should be filled with so much noise and laughter. But not anymore. Something has changed in Ash. Alola was supposed to be his break after problems in Kalos, so what went wrong? Was he not surrounded by friends? Did he not have two loving people looking after him?

The same questions echoed through Brock’s mind as he quietly walked up the stairs to Ash’s room. He gave a quiet knock on his door, before opening it and stepping into his room, only to trip over something soft laying nearby. Pikachu looked worn, cheeks shallow and crackling with pathetic bolts of electricity. The room was dark and the curtains drawn, with the only light source being a small lamp in the corner of the room. Ash, or the shadow that looked like him, was sitting on the bed with his back against the wall. His eyes tracked Brock’s movement across the room with a passive face. 

Before Brock could speak, Ash mumbled a sentence, “ Hey Brocko, it’s been a while.” His voice seemed monotonous and completely devoid of any emotion. 

“Hey Ash, your mom called me to talk to you. We need to have a talk about all of this.” Brock began hesitantly, he was still unsure of how Ash would act to the direct confrontation.

“Of course she would, she’s my caring mother after all,” Ash sneered so suddenly, his first expression since Brock visited him. 

“What is there to talk about?” He continued leisurely as he stood up, “ I quit, that’s that. Training is not for me and neither is travelling. It seems the legends were wrong about me after all.”

At his full height, Ash matched up to Brock now, considering the raven-haired boy was older now. He stood for a few moments swaying, before moving towards Pikachu still sprawled across the floor and picking him up gently.

“Even after I let all of them go, he still stayed. He’s always been a part of me, always by my side.” Ash looked at him now, hands still absentmindedly stroking Pikachu. His eyes looked so empty and lifeless, as though even the joy had left him.

“What is the point in travel Brock?” He began questioningly. “Is it to meet new people, or to gain life experiences, learn from past mistakes? Or is it to train to win the league? To beat the best and come out on top? But what next Brock? What do I do after that, after all the hardships struggles and deaths, what next Brock?!” Ash ended up yelling, cornering Brock and pointing an accusatory finger at his chest. 

His voice trembled with so much anger, contempt and sadness when he finally spoke next.

“What do I do next Brock? I’ve reached the top, but now there’s nothing left.”


	12. Latibule

Latiblue: ( _noun_ ) A hiding place, a place of safety and comfort.

* * *

The Kalosian forests were rumoured to be the most treacherous and unsafe at night. Consequently, the league placed warnings and sanctions on any league certified trainer who was found to be walking through during certain periods of the night.

The league issued tracker was only a minor issue for one Ash Ketchum, the Pokémon being a lesser worry than that. Currently, his biggest issue were the tears obstructing his view of the dimly lit path in front of him.

He could feel his anxiety build up, tearing through his throat to consume him. He had to find them, they were always close-by, so where were they?

Years and years of daily interactions and reoccurring deaths had culminated in a weird relationship between Ash and the Team Rocket trio. Their bond was hard to explain, especially to new travelling companions who always wondered why he didn’t report them, after all the serious incidents they put him through. He always shrugged them off, because they would never understand. He and Team Rocket had a mutual understanding, one in which they would be as evil and cruel as they wanted to be, but when the time called, they would always be the ones rescuing Ash, not his friends. It was always them, risking their lives time and time again to save him.

And now deep within the forest with still no trace of them, he began to wonder, not for the first time, what would have happened to him without them?

Would he have won a league by now?

Perhaps, but not with nearly enough experience and passion.

He knows that without them, he could have been _so_ much more, and yet so much less. In a sense, they made Ash Ketchum who he is today. They taught him selflessness, bravery, courage and so much heart. Most of all, they taught him what mattered in life, the love of his Pokémon and friends.

He found them as he always would, huddled around a fire. Relief flashed through his eyes quickly as his hands ran through Pikachu’s fur calmingly. He took a deep breath, lost his mask and slowly walked towards them.

It was time to go back to the script now. It was to be expected, as this situation had played out so many times that it was an ingrained routine now.

He would turn up unannounced in the middle of the night, being the insomniac he is. Then Meowth would come to him, give a pat on the leg, and walk off with Pikachu. Then he would sit between Jessie and James, the three of them watching the flames of the campfire slowly flickering out until the sunrise.

Then he would leave.

The whole episode needed no words, as actions conveyed more with them than anything.

They had too little time for words.


	13. Ebullience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to FrostyGrl101, who suggested this wonderful word. Hope this is as you would like!!  
> 

Ebullience: (noun) The quality of being cheerful and full of energy; exuberance.

* * *

Kukui was trying very hard not to get agitated. The constant tapping of trainers on the floor and the successive clicking of a pen where the only noises that could be heard in the otherwise quiet classroom. Out of everyone in the class, Kukui didn’t expect Ash to be the most excited about a new league. Ash said so himself, he’d participated in many leagues, so Kukui couldn't comprehend the reason for the energy emanating from the boy.

  
  


Finally, after minutes of growing irritation from himself and the rest of the class, Kukui decided to fix it. He stood up and walked towards Ash, who wasn’t even aware of his surroundings. Even as Kukui stood directly in front of him, his eyes were glazed and had a far-away look in them as he gazed out of the balcony. 

Having had enough, Kukui slammed a book onto the table, his patience wearing thin.

“Ash, would you be able to sit still for a while please,” Kukui tried politely. All he got back from Ash was a face of confusion. Kukui sighed. He didn’t have enough coffee in his system to deal with Ash today and there was only an hour or so until the end of the school day. 

“Could you stop tapping your leg on the ground, your friends are finding it irritating.” Kukui tried again, hinting at him to stop.

Ash, who had a dazed expression for all this time finally snapped into reality.. “Sorry Professor, it’s just that I can’t focus. The new league is starting and I need to plan out my team,” he smiled widely but immediately went back to his notes, mumbling incoherently as he continued the tapping.

Now Kukui’s curiosity was peaked. He was aware of the number of Pokemon that Ash had, but didn’t know that the boy had enough patience for a strategy or plan. Most kids wouldn’t, but he supposed Ash had too much experience now to be that lenient. Yet that still didn’t address the problem at hand, Ash’s twitching. 

“How about you go for a walk?” Kukui tried again to get his attention. There had to be _some_ way to get him out of the class, before he exploded from the pent-up energy.

Ash seemingly thought that was a great idea, and rushed to his feet eagerly. Tucking his chair in, he stuffed his books in his bag before recalling Rowlet and Meltan. Chaotically, Pikachu hopped on his shoulder as he hurriedly put his backpack on. And before Kukui could stop him, he took a running leap at the balcony, and slid down, not even saying goodbye as he landed expertly and rolled, somehow not displacing Pikachu or his backpack. He stood up, brushed off the dirt, and ran out of the Pokemon school without a second glance, leaving a shocked teacher and fellow students to stare open-mouthed from the balcony. 

“Be back before eight,” Kukui mumbled halfheartedly, knowing that that wouldn’t happen, not when it came to Ash.


	14. Undefined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings in place. If you want them, read the chapter notes at the end. Otherwise, go on ahead.

*

*

*

*

*

*

Augustine couldn't take it any longer. 

It was two in the morning, and he really needed to go to the restroom, and really badly. So, he wearily got out of bed and put his slippers on, trudging to the communal bathrooms (sadly, he couldn't sleep in his own house yet, it was still a pile of rubble). 

The bathrooms were at the end of rather long corridor, which always seemed ominous during his night trips, but today it looked extra demonic. It didn’t help that there was a red-tinted window placed there perfectly, which distorted the bare moonlight that filtered in. He suddenly had an awful feeling in his gut, urging him to open the door quickly though another side of him was more hesitant.

He hesitantly opened the door, and blinked in confusion. He didn’t expect someone else to be up at this time.

Ash was slouched against the tiled walls a few feet away from him, a small switchblade in one hand and a crazed yet empty look in his eyes. They widened maniacally as they cast themselves onto the professor.

"Heeyyy professor! Look at what I did! " Sycamore's concern shot through the roof at seeing him like this. One reason being his drunkenness. The other was the presence of the very sharp looking blade. Ash had exposed his other hand, which was dripping with blood and pooling onto the floor, much to his growing horror.

"Look at my masterpiece!" he gleamed, uncaring of the blood that was soaking his previously pristine white top. "The voices asked me to, so I said yes. It's been a while since they talked to me you know, mainly because I used to ignore them, but lately they've been saying some things. It used to be lies but now I don't know anymore. Do you know professor?" He suddenly paused there, as if words just evaporated from his tongue.

His face changed from joyous to saddened within seconds " I wish my dad was here, but he wouldn't be much use anyway, what would a lunatic know about comforting people." 

Again, his face morphed into a decidedly shocked expression as his voice rushed on ahead of him. "Professor, you're good at emotions aren't you? Well, you study bonds, so you have to be right? Can you do me a teeny tiny favour please? A massive one actually. Can you be my dad? It'll just be for a while. All you have to do is hug me, can you do that? It used to keep the monsters away, but now there’s no way to get rid of them. Your hugs are warm, aren't they? Comforting? Like a real father? No wonder Alain and Marin love you so much. You _can_ do it right? You-" Throughout his rambling, Ash's eyes had started to become unfocused as his panic mounted, but now he just stood frozen. Acting quickly, Sycamore dialled Diantha, the only person who he knew that could deal with crazy situations such as this. His greatest concern now was the blood, there was just so much!

However, Ash was still being unresponsive, practically jumping between moods, not to mention the amount of alcohol that was probably in his system and the blade that was still tightly clutched in his hand. 

He took a cautious look at the raven-haired boy, who was doing nothing but breathing heavily. He hadn't moved at all after the break in his sentence earlier. But now the knife was edging closer and closer to his wrists again, hands trembling massively. 

He just acted, and took a few strides to embrace Ash, while simultaneously removing the knife (with only minimal force surprisingly). His shoulders tensed immediately, and Sycamore could feel his breathing stop. 

'It's ok' he thought, trying to calm himself down, he just needed to keep talking. "Ash, you need to take some deep breaths for me, I'm going to help you sit down on the floor." He tried hard to remain calm, but it seemed to work as the kid’s breathing slowly returned to normal. 

He just needed to keep calming Ash down until Diantha came. It was a mantra he had to keep telling himself. And yet Ash seemed fine coming back on his own. His torn-up wrist had been quickly bandaged by the professor, but the pain was obviously coming back, judging by the grimace evident on his face.

Augustine still tried to reach the boy, "Ash, if you still want, I can be your dad, not just for now but forever." He was part of the family anyway; Alain had practically adopted him by now.

That elicited a new response from Ash. His eyes still drunken, but more focused than earlier were blown wide, mouth agape as he stared at the professor.

“You don’t need to be alone when facing the monsters Ash, that’s what family is here for, and your friends. No wars are won due to the efforts of just one man. I will always be here for you.” Ash seemed to hear him well enough, as his hands curled around the professor and embraced him tightly, as if fearing that he would let go.

‘I won’t let go son. Not now, not ever.’

* * *

No definition: This is up to you to define. Comment your description if you would like. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> Just general trigger warning. Nothing very bad I hope.  
> Leave comments below.


	15. Serein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For HawkFlames90, this fic is for you!! (It's even french!!)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy, and I'll write better ones soon, just waiting for the perfect words.

Serein: ( _noun_ ) A fine, light rain that falls from a clear sky at sunset. Evening serenity.

* * *

Sycamore loved the sunsets in Kalos, especially if it was viewed from the top of the Lumiose tower. Today, like most other days, the sky was clear and the sun was just above the horizon. The city down below was bathed in evening hues of crimson, gold and ember.

“Ah, quelle belle vie,” he sighed in contentment, just being happy to witness another wonderful end to the day. As he turned around to lean back against the railing, his eyes caught the something moving from a ledge nearby. Ash was sat precariously balanced with his feet swinging 800 feet in the air, with Pikachu and Greninja lounging on either side of him.

Sycamore silently gazed on as Ash shut his softly and tilted his head back, firmly pressing against the cold concrete wall. His hands released their hold on the ledge as small breeze blew over, causing his raven locks to flutter in the air. It painted a beautiful but haunting picture in his mind, even as the boy’s eyes slowly blinked open and cast themselves on the lonesome professor.

“Hi Professor, enjoying the view as well?” Ash’s voice was jarring, snapping Augustine out of his musings. The boy had somehow escaped the ledge and was now leaning against the railings, his eyes cast on the man beside him. There was no-one else there, but Augustine suddenly felt anxious and uncomfortable talking. His mind started to drift to events that occurred days prior.

“If you were thinking about what happened earlier,” Ash began, as if reading his mind “don’t worry about it, I forgive quite easily and nobody was seriously injured.”

Sycamore was in distress. How could Ash forgive him so easily even after all that he had to go through? “Ash, I have no right to ask for forgiveness, and you shouldn’t give it to me. I should have listened, and due to my errors, you were gravely injured.” Sycamore couldn’t forgive himself so easily even after whatever Ash would say. He gazed back at the child, to see him looking back at him contemplatively. He slowly stood up and ushered Pikachu back onto his shoulder before making eye-contact again.

“Professor, you can choose to either accept or reject my forgiveness. But listen to my advice when I say that there is no point in dwelling on past mistakes.” With that, he turned his back to the man and walked off towards the glass doors, leaving a quiet bipedal Pokémon in his wake. The ninja Pokémon looked at Sycamore with the same eyes as Ash did, analysing him for a few extra seconds before following behind.

The man stayed where he was, watching the boy and his Pokémon slowly disappear from his sight. “Au revoir mon enfant trouble,” he spoke quietly, before facing the dimming skies.

“Huh, it’s raining.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope people understood the french a bit. If not, here you go:
> 
> "Ah, quelle belle vie." = "Ah, what a beautiful life."
> 
> "Au revoir mon enfant trouble." = "Goodbye my troubled child." 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!!!


	16. Atelophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I'm just to lazy for dialogue....  
> Is this type too weird??

Atelophobia: ( _noun_ ) Fear of not being good enough.

* * *

[Weary]

I’m just tired you know?

Of all the gym battles, the challenges, meeting new people, saving Pokémon.

_(Ash, please. You have so much to gain from it all. Move away from there!)_

I just want to stop trying and not care for a few days. Maybe for forever.

_(We can help, that’s what we’re here for, please come back to us. Your Pokémon are worried!)_

[Anger]

I’m just tired of failing all the time. Every region, every person and Pokémon, it’s like a cycle I can’t escape. I loose, I get destroyed and I die, then I stand up to experience it all over again.

_(…)_

[Contempt]

Why can’t I just get it right? Why does the failure never end? Why is it so that I have to loose everyone I love, over and over again?

_(No, you’re not a failure! You’re such a courageous boy! You have so much heart!)_

[Disgust]

 **Oh** , you think I’m a strong person? Well so do I. I’m a strong person, but do you know what makes me cry? 

[Resignation]

It’s when I give it my all, and still come out useless. 

So, what’s the point in trying?

_(NO ASH, DON’T DO IT!!!!!!)_

[Empty]


	17. Kintsukuroi

Kintsukuroi (noun)(v.phr.) To repair broken things with gold. The idea that a piece is more beautiful after being broken.

* * *

“Have you ever heard of Kintsukuroi Professor? It’s Kantonese but you must have heard of it.”

Ash was sitting next to him on the beach casually kicking the sand. Just minutes ago, the boy was drowning, being rescued by Kukui himself and now he was talking about pottery?

“Ash, most people know what it means,” Kukui began, still irritated that he had to get his lab-coat wet. It takes ages to dry, even in the Alolan sun. “It’s a Japanese idea where you mend pottery with gold, why are you asking that now?” He was confused as to where Ash was planning to lead the conversation, but it seemed the boy was uninterested in the information provided, because he was vacantly staring at the sea as he began talking.

“Huh,” he huffed derisively, making brief eye-contact with Kukui before speaking again, “It’s an art. A philosophy actually, a representation that broken things are beautiful. That every scar and past mistakes should be worn with pride, for it shows you’ve learnt something.”

Kukui was very unsure of where to go from here. This was a side of Ash he’d never seen before, that sneering tone and that empty gaze.

“They expect that you learn. But what if you don’t? What if the growing number of scars on your body are due to the fact that you didn’t learn? Because you’re ignorant to your mistakes? That just means you can hate the marks, hate every single one that mars your skin, right? They mean that I didn’t learn.” Ash was solely focused on him now, as the waves had stilled and he could no longer feel the tropical breeze on his back. He lifted up his shirt, and watched blankly as my face transformed into shock.

His torso was littered with scars, some faint, but others looked more recent. While most of them looked like knife wounds, there were some that made Kukui pause. They looked like they were branded onto Ash’s skin, the marks of legendaries.

Ash smiled emptily at me. “I’m like broken pottery professor. I’ve been damaged so many times but the legendaries have always fixed me. 

They filled my scars with gold and made me believe I’m ok again."

His smile turned colder as he contemplated my expression. "Mind manipulation is a bitch, but I’ve dealt with far worse.”

He smirked at me,as he released the fabric of his t-shirt and let it fall back down. I watched in muted horror as the Ash I know reappeared before me, the ever-present happy-go-lucky grin pasted back on his face.

“You okay professor? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”


	18. Orenda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> Swearing.
> 
> Enjoy!

Orenda ( _noun_ ): A mystical force present in all people that causes them to affect the world, or to effect change in their own lives.

* * *

To my forgotten father,   
  
My name is Ash Ketchum and currently, I am a total stranger to you. You should have tried to keep it that way, but you kinda failed that 18 years ago when you screwed around with my mum. You should know by now that actions have consequences, a lesson learnt too late I believe. Anyway, how’s that mountain been treating you? 

Reputation means absolute shit now Red, get off your fucking rock and see the real world. Are you blind to the issues of your region or are you actually in support of Giovanni? If you don't know who he is by the way, he's the leader of Team Rocket. That same organisation which has been behind most of the murders, extortion and Pokémon slavery in Kanto for the same amount of time you've been in power. 

  
  
People want change Red, and they don't want you in the way. So, I strongly advise that you keep this letter as a reminder that your life is in danger. 

Because I’m feeling empowered as fuck.   


See you soon Champion Red.

Lots of love and hugs, 

Ash Ketchum (your son btw)   
Champion of the Orange Archipelago and Alolan Islands  


(ps, real shame you missed my fight, I suppose the TV signal is crap up there though)   


(pps, mum still hates you lousy, shit, good-for-nothing bastard) 


	19. Mother's Day  (an accidental story which is not so happy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was not meant to be a mother's day special, but it turned into a sad one. I don't really have a word for it but I wanted to post something, so enjoy and comment if you know of a word to fit this story!!

Her life had always been peaceful. Even during the time when her husband left her, when she has to raise her child on her own, there was always a feeling of calm that surrounded her. It still surrounds her today, here in her quaint little part of Pallet, tucked away in the smallest corner of Kanto and overshadowed by Professor Oak’s lab.

Here was where she was, and here was where she belonged.

But sometimes….

Sometimes she wondered, ‘what if I went into that world? What if I stepped out of my garden, and into that vast expanse of land and sea that my little boy has travelled through, to experience what he experiences and see all there is to see?’

Then she remembers that Ash isn’t so little anymore. He isn’t that naïve 10-year-old boy that left home with his partner tied to him with string.

He’s changed, or rather, the world’s changed him.

With every passing year, the shadows under his eyes deepen, the hunch in his posture becomes more profound and the scars that litter his body increase. Yet the scariest of all was the loss of that smile he always wore, that childhood innocence and joy, replaced by a plastic grin that never reached his eyes, not since Sinnoh. She’d always wondered what went on in his life, what went on to shape him into the shadow he is today, and why he felt so out of reach.

She dreaded to think about it, that day when he would come home, because she knew he wouldn’t be the Ash she saw a year ago, or the year before that. Her Ash left her without saying goodbye all those years ago, and now a stranger greets her at her doorstep every year.

She wishes every day that he didn’t leave. She wishes that he stayed with her, in their own little part of Pallet, tucked away in a corner of Kanto.

Her Ash left on a journey long ago, just like her husband. They traversed the world on separate paths, lives destined to be alone.

A life in which Delia Ketchum waits patiently by a clean white picket fence, outside a quaint rosy cottage, hoping for her boys to come home to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my lateness with updates as I was expecting exams in the near future, but not anymore.  
> Keep the comments and word suggestions coming in!


	20. Madrugada

Madrugada:( _noun_ ) The moment at dawn when the night greets the day.

* * *

The wind was roaring outside and the rain was pouring down as a blanket of white, limiting eye-sight to a mere hand-distance out in the open. 

Normal lessons were supposed to be postponed today, but the whole class turned up to help barricade the classrooms, and just in time before the first wave of turbulence hit the island. 

Ash was drenched. 

And so was Pikachu. 

And that was a problem, because he didn't want to be treated for severe electric burns today, his veins were already damaged enough from Pikachu's assaults early on in their journey. As his friends and Professor Kukui huddled together by the inner walls, he braved the wrath of his Pokemon and walked nervously towards him.

"Heeeey Pikachu my pikapal, I got a nice warm towel here for you, why don't you get rid of those large electric stores in your cheeks and give me a warm hug?" He ended questioningly, pleading to the Tapus that Pikachu wasn't in a vengeful mood. It wasn't his fault that he forgot that his buddy was outside while they barricaded the exits, the mouse was just too quiet sometimes! 

Pikachu looked at him angrily but huffed derisively and discharged some electricity, releasing the tension from Ash's shoulder. Now he didn't have to worry about the others being electrocuted. The yellow mouse jumped into Ash's hands and snuggled into his arms, causing a relieved laugh to fall from the boy's lips. 

An abrupt gust of wind signaled a breach in the barricades, but Ash looked on in shock as the drenched and shivering forms of Team Rocket fell into the classroom, barely conscious. Ash hurried over to them worriedly, stopping by the form of Jessie, who seemed to be the most coherent in her mumbling. "Heehh Twerp, we found you.”She weakly grabbed his arm, “Code-L1, you got that?" Ash nodded, being more concerned about her waning pulse, which was the same with James and Meowth, who was being carefully monitored by Pikachu. 

Until he processed her words.

"Wait...Hang on, did you say L1? What the hell did you guys do?" He cried incredulously. "There's literally nothing here to kill you, where did you find it?" He was tugging his hair angrily as he stood up and began pacing, the health of the Rockets momentarily forgotten. 

"Ash, what is going on?" Professor Kukui finally decided to speak out, eyebrows crinkled in confusion. 

“Huh?” Ash said, startled as he glanced back at the Professor. “Oh, the L-1 code. Don’t worry about that professor, I’ll deal with it in a minute, just as soon as I finish wringing these three for their stupidity yet again.” Ash cast a harsh scowl at the trio on the ground, who were blearily looking up at him. 

“No Ash, what is L-1?” Stressed Kukui as he rushed forward to hold Ash in place, holding firm eye-contact with the raven haired boy, who was squirming in place.

“Relax Professor, it’s a legendary thing,” Ash shrugged the man’s hands off, which had gone strangely slack in the process. “It’s not something Lance can handle anyway. Whatever involves these three idiots and their organization involves me, especially if it is in the legendary territory.” With that, he signalled to Pikachu, who instantly released a three-pronged lightning bolt, perfectly hitting the teens on the floor.

“I find that it’s the best way to wake them up. We’ll be back by tomorrow Professor, I got to sort this weather problem out, c’mon you three!” He shouted back as he rushed off into the stormy night, the Team Rocket trio following closely behind him. 

  
  


Omake:

It becomes hard to distinguish between black and white between good and bad and night and day, when you constantly surround yourself with those from polar opposites of the world.

Sometimes, the place in-between, where both meet is the perfect medium which creates bonds that will last a lifetime.


	21. GLUGGAVEĐUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note:  
> I have an idea for a story, but I don't know if it's been done already or if it's a new idea.
> 
> In the story, Pikachu dies at the Spearow incident and saves Ash. This makes him want to be a better trainer and he evolves from that.  
> if anyone knows a story, pls tell me where I can find it.  
> If not, someone have a go at writing it, I would love to read !!!

GLUGGAVEĐUR: (noun) “Window-weather.” Weather that looks so nice and picturesque through a window, until you’re in it. A weather best enjoyed behind a window.

* * *

Ash Ketchum, to the eyes of a stranger, looks like a boy who has it all, with endless charisma and joy.

His wealth, which has led him to travel around the world and compete in every league.

His Pokémon, a multitude of species who love him and are beyond loyal and strong.

His friends, from all walks of life, from the poorest to the richest and most famous in the world.

He’s a kid with good connections, plenty of money and seemingly no experience on the hardships of life.

What a shallow thought.....

For once you get to know him, your views rapidly begin to change into something darker. You realize how dangerous life really is, beyond the safety of a secure home and surroundings.

I met him once and became his friend, and I was instantly wrapped up in his web of constant terror and death.

There are many reasons for the way he does things, and why he is the way he is. He’s told me once, at a point in which I snapped. I asked him, “Why do you do this? This is what the league is for, this is what the officers are for! Not for a child to be involved in!”

He replied back sadly, and answered the questions I had brewing since I had met him.

The reason he travelled and had the money to do so, was due to league funding. Who better to explore the world and scout for danger than a child the league had at their beck and call?

The reason he competes, to ensure that he keeps training for any eventuality and may occur.

The reason he has such loyal Pokémon? Simple, because he earned their respect, by saving them from lives crueller than death. He died for them, and they’d do the same in a heartbeat.

Friends, he had only a few of. Acquaintances however, he had multitudes. From league officials, shadow bodyguards, stalkers and to people who just plainly wanted special preference, he’d met them all.

Connections were crucial in the role he played, being a medium between the legendaries and the officials. The war-ground so to speak.

And it was no wonder that every criminal organisation would be after him….

So yeah, Ash Ketchum was a boy with many Pokémon, money and connections, but don’t you ever say that my friend doesn’t know the pain of life.

He knows, better than anybody.


	22. Defenestration

Defenestration: _(noun)_ The action of throwing someone out of a window.

* * *

“What the hell are you three doing here?!” Ash vehemently whispered at the trio to blame, standing only a few feet from him, as three pairs of eyes stared with shock at the raven-haired boy. This was one of the rare opportunities in his current life that he wouldn’t have a shadow behind him. He thought he was safe for a while on a plane. Well that blew up in his face. 

  
  


Jessie’s face twisted into rage as she stepped into the row of seats and grabbed Ash by the collar, shaking him vigorously as she ranted.

“Now listen here twerp, this isn’t fun for us either. First we find that boss called us back to Kanto, and now we find that we’re sat next to you for the 18 hours on this stupid plane. Plus I had to leave my poor babies behind!” She angrily finished, and threw herself onto the seat next to Ash, leaving James to have the aisle seat. 

(Curse his luck, because now Pikachu and Meowth were going to be fighting through the whole journey, using the three humans as shields and launchpads, completely unawares of the trouble they would be getting the others into. )

And now, people were staring…

Ash and James simultaneously ducked their heads in shame and quietly sat back onto their seats, embarrassed about the scene they caused. Jessie however, was still fuming from the ears. Kanto suddenly seemed like a millennia away, not just a few short hours.

* * *

  
  
  


Waking up on the plane was one of the most disorienting things in the world, even more confusing for Ash, when he realized that Pikachu was missing. He quickly shot up from his pillow, only to realise that it was Jessie’s shoulder. Said girls arms were a deadweight which stretched both ways to anchor both him and James. What the hell happened?! And where the hell was Pikachu?! He had a bad feeling about this, and his feelings were always right. 

He tried to quietly and slowly climb over the two Rockets, but failed miserably considering the tight and narrow spaces that were called planes.He landed on top of them, of-course he did.

And while they screamed at him, to which he screamed back twice as loudly (he wasn’t going to deny that), the plane shook.

Now, the shaking wasn’t the normal ‘no worries’ kind of turbulence, but the heart in your mouth kind of shaking that rattled them crazily. 

  
  


And suddenly, their joint legendary sense exploded.

The three of them slowly disentangled themselves and gazed out of the window, to see a shadow of a Pokemon behind the brooding clouds. They looked back inside the plane, feeling somewhat relieved that everyone was belted in. Ash searched for Pikachu, and found the mouse running straight at him, Meowth hot on his heels.

“We got a problem buddy,” he sighed, pointing at the grim view outside. He glanced back at the Rockets, and with the most serious expression on his face, said thus:

  
  


“ Throw me out the plane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly a window, but I enjoyed writing it either way. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this and keep well!!!
> 
> Thanks to Animus_Melodiam and Animeloverlovescats and heartbreakerninja for the word!!!!


	23. Lachesism

Lachesism: (noun) The desire to be struck with disaster. 

  
  


Gou loved living with the professor, don’t get him wrong, he loved it. He loved the Pokemon, and didn’t mind Koharu’s company even if she whined at him to come back to school. 

  
  
  


But it was sooo boring! 

Every day was repetitive, mornings, afternoons and nights. It was the same cycle and Gou was so close to calling it quits. 

  
  


Until Ash turned up. 

* * *

Honestly, he thought he'd be the only person in the world that was stupid enough to jump onto a living god, but seeing a boy the same age as him hanging on to Lugia's terrified him. 

And he was smiling! 

The kid wasn't even that shocked by the legendary, and straight up hugged the beast of the sea without fear of being thrown off. 

Gou meanwhile, was scared for his life and totally unprepared for the flight of terror that followed. 

He should have known this was the universe's punishment for wanting an extraordinary life. But he couldn't ever regret meeting Ash. In only under a month, he'd seen so many regions, Pokemon and people, with adventures attached to every one of them. 

Ash seemed like a great friend so far, even if he threw his world completely off-kilter. Still, adventure was better than the boredom before, even if it was with a slightly eccentric boy and his even weirder group of Pokemon. 

What else could go wrong?


	24. Deathbed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's not specifically a word.  
> I suggest listening to the song 'Deathbed' by Powfu to get the melody in your head. It's a sad tune, but I had to write it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and keep commenting!!
> 
> (Major character death upcoming)

Deathbed: ( _song name)_ The name given to the song written by Canadian musician Powfu. Warning, the feels may hit you.

* * *

_ Don't stay awake for too long _

_ Don't go to bed _

_ I'll make a cup of coffee for your head _

_ I'll get you up and going out of bed _

To Professor Kukui, I gave your life some routine, and in return you gave me a home. You know, you were the first teacher to actually listen to me, to what I had to say. Thank you for providing me with a place to stay, for helping me learn, and for letting me into your Alolan family. I’ll never forget it.

  
  
  


_ I don't wanna fall asleep _

_ I don't wanna pass away _

_ I been thinking of our future 'cause I'll never see those days _

To my buddy. 

Hey pal. You know I don’t wanna go, and I know you don’t want to let me. I wish we could do all the things we planned,but I’m sorry I won’t be there for you anymore.

  
  
  


_ I don't know why this has happened _

_ But I probably deserve it _

_ I tried to do my best _

_ But you know that I'm not perfect _

  
  


To my father. If you get this message at all, know that I am sorry for letting you down time and time again. I know I'm not the son you wanted, and that’s probably why you left mum. But when I’m gone, you can come back for her right?

  
  
  


_ I been praying for forgiveness _

_ You've been praying for my health _

To Mum, please don’t be sad. All the things I’ve done aren’t because you were a bad parent. It was because you were the best mum I could have wished for. You’ve always been in my heart, even in the darkest of times.

  
  
  


_ When I leave this earth _

_ Hoping you'll find someone else _

_ 'Cause yeah, we still young there's so much we haven't done _

To Misty. There’s so many things I wanted to say to you, but I never got the chance. I hope this gets to you safely, and I hope you’ll understand the meaning behind my words, you always do. I know you want to try, but you can’t bring me back this time.

  
  
  


_ Getting married, start a family _

_ Watch your husband with his son _

To Professor Burnet, I’m glad I got to see your’s and Professor Kukui’s wedding. Thank you for letting me share your family. I wanted to see your son and watch him grow up. I always wanted to be an older brother. Please tell him about Ash Ketchum, the greatest Pokemon master in the world. Tell him to never stop believing in himself. 

  
  
  


_ I wish it could be me _

_ But I won't make it off this bed _

To Brock, what would I do without you? My brother from the start, though you sometimes felt like my mum as well. I know you’ll care for my Pokemon and my mum just like your own family. Please keep an eye on Misty and Pikachu for me.

  
  
  


_ I hope I go to heaven _

_ So I see you once again _

Hey Lucario, Sir Aaron. I bet you didn’t expect to see me so soon. It’s funny how fate turns out to be.

  
  
  


_ My life was kinda short _

_ But I got so many blessings _

To all my friends I met during my seventeen years and thirty-one (ish) days of living. I hope you continue living a good life. You’ve helped me in so many ways, and I’ll leave you with a final gift that I hope you’ll all like.

  
  
  


_ Happy you were mine _

_ It sucks that it's all ending _

From the diaries of Ash Ketchum. Beloved son, friend and trainer. May he forever be in our hearts, always.


	25. Querencia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to AlolaRizaEevee30.  
> ( I am so sorry for the long wait for this chapter. Inspiration was hard with this one, because my knowledge on the shown is minimal beyond Black and White.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and leave comments down below for future suggestions!!!!

Querencia: ( _noun_ ) A place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are most at your authentic self.

* * *

He only had to put one foot down on the ground in order to dreadfully regret his life choices. He could have said no, he could have refused and he’d be at home, playing with Pikachu, Nebby and his Pokémon. But noooo, his hopeful brain suggested that you know what, it’ll be fine, ‘don’t worry’ as Dawn always likes to say. He should have expected this, but he didn’t come prepared and now he was going to suffer the consequences.

“Welcome to Cameran Place,” announced the tour guide, as Ash hurriedly stuffed his hands into his pockets before sensory overload could happen. 

[Line Break]

His friends were having a great time, with Sophocles taking photos every minute and the others happily chatting away and admiring the views of the beautiful palace. Even Professor Kukui seemed spellbound, and therefore didn’t notice his uncharacteristically quiet and subdued behaviour. 

His aura was going haywire, and he had to focus hard to keep it in control before it lashed out. He could sense every presence within the castle walls and could feel the presence of the tree of beginning, so far away from him. He sighed wearily, he had to get rid of the excess soon, the blue glow was becoming more visible through his coat pocket, and he could tell that his hands were burning. Just a few more hours till he could ditch his group, he knew his way around mostly anyway.

Before he could contemplate his decisions, PIkachu iron-slapped him in the face, effectively focusing his attention to his classmates, who were standing in front of a large painting. 

“This, as some of you may know is a painting of the Wave hero Sir Aaron and his loyal Lucario, who gave their lives to defend this kingdom and its people.” 

As the rest of the class looked on in admiration, Ash could only glance at it before having to cast his gaze down, hat covering his eyes as tears began to run freely down his face. 

*****************

It was at night when they went to bed that the class realised that one specific person, who disappeared a while ago hadn’t returned yet.

While the mad hunt for the missing boy began, said boy was standing up in a place not far from the castle, within the tree of beginning.

Ash was tired. His whole body felt like he’d been dragged below his herd of tauros, then electrocuted by Pikachu. Said mouse was also with him, though he really wished his best friend would do a bit more than drape his furry body across his shoulders. Human comfort, unsurprisingly, wasn't Pikachu's strong point. 

Ignoring the mouse, he closed his eyes and desperately struggled to remember what he was taught in order to release his aura, preferably without destroying himself. But no matter what he tried, nothing happened. 

What felt like hours of trial and error that yielded no results, his frustration mounted higher and higher, making his already difficult aura more volatile.

 _Why can’t I release it? It’s literally under my skin!_ , he screamed internally, thrusting his hands out like a z-move. He needed to get rid of the aura, it was tearing him apart. 

‘Ashton, calm down,’ a voice spoke calmly in his head. Startled, Ash stepped, back but tripped on a convenient rock and fell directly onto another convenient rock. Groaning in pain, he stood and frantically looked around for the voice. A voice which he knew from a long time ago. 

“Lucario, where are you?!” he screamed, frustration and anger roiling with his aura to produce unholy crackles of blue lightning that began to spread out from him. “I’m loosing my mind trying to control this! Every day it feels like it’s pulling me apart, I need your help!” he curled in on himself, Pikachu momentarily forgotten as he raked his fingernails across his scalp.

‘Child, you know as well as I do that I cannot help you. It is not I nor your strength that keeps you grounded.’

“Then what is?!” Ash yelled back harshly, eyes raw from rubbing tears away.

A blue orb materialized in front of the boy, hovering at his eye level. The turquoise hue lit up the walls glumly, dampening even Pikachu’s bright yellow fur. 

‘ You will know in time, when those who are seeking for you find you. You will know then.’ Lucario’s voice spoke somberly, before dissipating into the darkness. With that, so did his aura, evaporating from him in the same way as the Pokemon’s spirit. 

“I still need your help, please,” he whispered back, only to be met with complete silence and an empty feeling in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What keeps him grounded I wonder?  
> Where (or who with) does he feel his most real self?


	26. Weltschmerz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to heartbreakerninja for suggesting this word. It matches Ash to a T, but I hope this is okay too and you enjoy!
> 
> Written especially (though not exclusively) for 2020.  
> Cause it's screwed with us all badly. Some more than most. 
> 
> So let’s talk positives, I wanna hear about any happy things that happened to you my readers. Comment down below, from the most mundane to the most life changing.  
> Me first:  
> I have succeeded in playing a piano piece I have repeatedly failed at. Plus, I finally remembered to buy carwash ( after 3 months of forgetting) so now I can finally clean my filthy car!!!

Weltschmerz :( _noun_ ) The state of sadness and depression you feel when the world doesn’t represent what you hoped it would be. Literal ‘World- pain’

* * *

“Mother!” Lillie screamed, unaware of the danger she was subjecting herself to. 

Ash, who stood only a few steps behind her, swore and yanked her behind him, just in time to avoid an inky tendril that slammed into the ground where she had been standing.

The ravenette scowled, before stepping forward into her mother’s sights. She stared at him in shock, before an unearthly screech tore her attention back to the creature in front of them. 

UB-01 Symbiont, the parasitic creature that was the root of everything wrong in her life. 

Her fear personified.

“You monster, stay away from my daughter!” Her mother’s warbled voice screamed. “You have no right to be here when you’re the cause of it all!” 

She saw Ash visibly flinch, but his expression was hidden by the shadow of his hat. He didn’t speak, so she spoke in lieu of him. 

“Mother, Ash is not a monster!” she strained her voice over the roar of the surroundings. “He’s my friend, and he’s helped me and Gladion out more than you ever have. Stop being selfish and let go of that dream of yours and come back to you children!” She took a tentative step towards the still creature, only to have an arm struck out to block her. 

Ash stared at her incredulously. “What the hell are you doing Lillie, are you planning to get yourself crushed?” He spoke harshly, while reaching to grip her wrist. She stepped back from him quickly, just missing his hand. Before she could retort, her mother wailed angrily.

“You already ruined my chances once; I won't let you ruin them again. I _can’t_ , I have to save my husband!” 

Both Ash and herself froze in position, though both for very different reasons. 

She’d never heard mother speak much about father before, so she couldn’t comprehend why Ash of all people would have this reaction. She cast a quick glance at him, but found him aiming a withering glare at the UB. 

“You and your family are not the only people living in this world Lusamine. Whatever you do, whoever you think you’re doing it for, actions always have a consequence!” He hissed at her. “Don’t tell me that you didn't know what would happen if you tried to summon them. You knew. Aether knew what it would take to create a wormhole, but you just didn’t care. The loss of your husband isn’t on me, so stop living in the past and protect the only family you have left!”

He pulled her forward, directly in front of the monster he was moments ago protecting her from. 

“You have your role as a mother. I have my role to protect the world from people like you, who are so damn hateful. Just because the world’s not what you want it to be doesn’t mean you can’t change it.” He spoke with so much certainty, with so much belief in what he said that Lillie had to believe him. 

* * *

She stood alone, in front of UB-01 Symbiont as it towered over her small figure. Her mother stood tall and regal, hauntingly frozen in its arms. 

She took the first step. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep forgetting to mention, but please fell free to take any of the ideas from this fic to create your own versions. I would love to read them!!!


	27. Saudade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special for Chloe, I really do love her character. Let me know of more words that would suit other characters too and I'll see what I can write.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!!

Saudade: ( _noun_ ) A nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone distant, or that has been loved then lost, that you know can never be experienced again. "The love that remains."

* * *

Chloe Cerise did not cry about much, but one definite exception was Goh.

But don’t tell him that.

She would never say it to his face, but she missed her friend a lot.

Especially now that their lives were moving so quickly.

  
  


She hated change, but she was smart. She understood that change was necessary for the greater good. But she wonders, for who? 

  
  
  
  


Certainly for Goh it seemed. When just a month ago he declared he hated the educational system and said screw you to the teacher, Chloe thought that was it. A definitive conclusion to the growth of someone who should have had so much potential.

.

But then, as always, Ash happened ( as Goh repeatedly puts it anyway). The strange boy from Pallet town with an admittedly cute Pikachu arrived, and for a moment, she thought she could feel it, the change.

  
  


It was instantaneous, the miracles that began to occur in tandem around them. Lugia on their first day, the bulbasaur, meeting Scorbunny and travelling to Galar, Goh would gush about the amazingness of it all, the amazingness of Ash and his goal to be a Pokemon master. And Chloe would listen, like the good friend she is, because she’s smart. Only someone so bigoted and blind would deny the benefits that Ash Ketchum had on Goh. His expertise (however strangely it revealed itself), his drive and his creativity, somethings that Goh oftentimes severely lacked.

Ash was good.

Chloe…. Not so much, not anymore anyway. 

It seemed life was taking them both on different paths, to a better tomorrow no doubt,but maybe one that they wouldn’t share. 

It was sad seeing Ash with Goh. It hurt sometimes, seeing something special you had once being shared so freely with a total stranger.

But Chloe Cerise is smart ( _ duh _ , that’s why she’ll be a great researcher someday), she knows when to hold on ( like she does with her parents when hugging them), but she also knows when to let go ( Goh would always be her friend, but not in the same ways they used to be). 

  
  


In the words of Ash Ketchum, aspiring Pokemon master ‘its evolution, you’re changing!’

  
  


Chloe thinks she likes that metaphor. 

Her metapod days were coming to an end, maybe it was finally time to spread her butterfree wings and fly.


	28. Taradiddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to heartbreakerninja for this word!!!

Taradiddle: ( _noun_ ) A petty lie.

* * *

The day was too hot and way too sunny for Ash’s liking. In fact, he preferred rain clouds and cold winds to match his perfectly dreary mood. Pathetic fallacy to the greatest extent, because goddammit if the league was sucking the life out of him, nobody else should be happy.

He growled to himself as a metaphorical storm cloud hung over his head, dissuading anyone from talking to him. The brightness and joy was beginning to physically hurt him now, so he began his walk back to the labs glad that Pikachu wasn’t with him to laugh at his misery.

The streets of Viridian passed by him in a blur, throngs of people milling around to enjoy the rare goo weather. The Cafes were filled, but a particular person caught his interest. It was a man, with slick oiled-back hair and wearing a bland suit, holding what seemed to be a mic set and camera, rushing straight towards him.  Ash did a 180 turn and briskly walked the way he came, praying to dear Arceus to allow him to escape at least once. That bastard probably loved to torture Ash too much, because the man was immediately on his tail. 

“Please leave me alone!” He tried to plead, turning his head back to look at the man while still retreating from the scene. He really did not want to deal with people at the moment, and he was so so very close to snapping at the man who was evidently a press reporter, judging by his slimy character.

The man, unsurprisingly ignored him and continued his pursuit. “Mr Ketchum, I wanted to talk to you to confirm some facts that we recently found out so please wait,” he spoke haughtily. 

Yep. Definitely a slimy reporter. 

Ash stopped running for a minute and turned to face him, to be surprised with a camera flash of a photo being taken. And now, he was getting pissed, but yet again he tried to resolve the problem diplomatically. 

“Look, you seem to be a nice guy so I want to say this only once. Please delete that photo, and you can contact me through my sponsor who you probably already know.” He tried for a pleasant smile, really he did. But all that appeared was sneer of displeasure, before he quickly turned and walked away.

* * *

“Oh my god! I thought I told you to contact me only through the proper channels, not stalk me!" Ash yelled at the reporter, eyes twitching in anger. It was six p.m and he was still struggling to calm down from the events of the day. The stalker on the pier wasn't helping his situation by any means.

"Yes I'm sorry to bother you again Mr Ketchum, but this will be a very quick interview," the man overruled, clearly missing Ash's current mood (or simply not caring). " You see, we recently had a tip-off from a colleague of yours that says you're in possession of a legendary species, is that true?" The man inquired, quickly shoving his mic in his face. 

  
  


Ash spaced off for a minute incredulously. 

_ Colleague _ .

_ Colleague _ . 

_ Who'd be dumb enough to suggest something like that to the media?  _

_ Colleague _ ….

  
  
  


" Goddammit Goh!"


	29. Verléieren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the chapter and comment!!

Verléieren: ( _verb_ ) To lose, forfeit something in one’s possession. To willingly part with or separate from something.

* * *

He stood outside the office, eyes downcast and glancing at his hands, which held a wrinkled piece of paper. Pikachu, for once, wasn’t with him. He told the ‘mon to go and play, to enjoy Alola and his friends to the last dregs, because they both knew a chance like this would probably never happen again. 

“Come in,” a voice spoke from inside, and Ash stilled himself to drag in a gasp of air, before stepping into the office. In the chair by the desk was Principal Oak, and leaning against the mahogany desk was Professor Kukui, who looked at him curiously. 

“Ash, what’re you doing here? I thought you’d be ou-”

“I’m here to give you my departure letter. And confirmation that I’ll be dropping out of school.”  The ‘again’ wasn’t mentioned, but it was certainly felt, least of all by Ash. He should be  _ used  _ to disappointing people by now, and yet he still didn’t understand why saying that hurt so much.

The room quietened as both teachers processed what the boy had said. Not even Komala’s bell, that rang shortly after, affected their blank faces. 

Honestly though, Ash couldn’t understand the issue here. They knew he was a temporary student, and ok fair enough, it was just past halfway through the year, but the shock factor shouldn’t be that big, right? He himself would have loved to stay, but his legendary senses were tingling. Something big was going to happen, and he needed to be there for it. A strongly worded email later (courtesy of Lance), Ash was set to leave. Bag packed, room emptied, TRio notified and Pokemon well rested, all within the hours before daybreak. That would leave the last day to say goodbye. But Ash was never good with goodbyes. Instead he goofed around, laughed and made empty promises to the others, knowing full well that he was a coward. The disappointed stares from Pikachu certainly didn’t help, but his years had helped him to tune out such problems. So there he was, story told and waiting for the reactions of his teachers, who strangely looked more confused. 

“Wh- What brought this sudden change on Ash?” Kukui coughed, looking more betrayed than he had any need to be. 

“Stuff came up. I’m packed and I've got my ticket booked already,” Lies, and more lies. He should just become a lawyer already, at least they get  _ paid  _ to lie.

“Samuel didn’t mention anything when I called him this morning,” Oak piped up, suspicion lacing his otherwise perfect tone. “I thought that him being your benefactor, he would know these key things?”

“It’s nothing to do with Professor Oak,” he ground out, crushing the urge to tell the old man to shut up. ‘ _ Be nice and don’t react,’ _ the failsafe mantra that got him through some tough times. “Look, I’ve gained all I can from Alola, and it’s not like there’s a league here to challenge me.” Ah… maybe that was too low of a blow, judging from the reaction on Professor Kukui’s face.

“ I understand that Ash,” Oak continued, as Kukui went to slouch on a couch. “ But there are legalities to all of this, it’s not solely your deci-”

“Just read the letter.” Ash interrupted once again. He was getting tired of these assumptions and ideas that people had of him. As the headteacher’s eyes skimmed through the letter, the boy moved his gaze to the Professor.    
  


Kukui’s mind was running a mile a minute.

Ash was leaving. Ash was  _ leaving!  _

_   
_ Though, in all honesty he should have expected this. He knew from enough experience that Ash without Pikachu meant something serious (and completely unrelated to Pokemon). Moreover, it meant a topic that was already discussed between the pair. And really, it shouldn’t fill him up with this much resentment, but it does. The fact that Ash confided in a Pokemon (though his best-friend) instead of someone that could actually help him kind-of hurt. What hurt more was the fact that this plan seemed reasonably thought-out, judging from the rising surprise in Principle Oak’s face, 

Ash looked at him with an indescribable emotion on his face. Something that Kukui could easily read now from spending a few months with the boy. 

_ He didn’t want to leave. _

  
  


“Ash, you managed to get this signed off by Champion Lance?!” Oak shrieked, for once the love of poke-puns forgotten. Ash shrugged his shoulders non-committedly. He wasn’t going to bring up the fact that this wasn’t in Lance’s legal repertoire, but it wasn’t exactly the right situation. So he kept quiet and let them conjure up their own ideas and theories. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket. 

His ride was here. 

“Say goodbye to everyone for me Professor, tell them sorry I didn’t say anything. I’m not good at goodbyes.” He laughed quietly, before snatching the letter from Oak’s hands and turning to the door. He considered their expressions a final time, “It was nice here. Alola’s peaceful, and I pray it’ll stay that way.” 

He turned and walked out the door, looking at the message on his phone.

{Be here in five.} 

The ravenette smirked. The message was cold as expected, and blunt as ever. 

“A hui hou kākou Alola. Let’s hope it’ll be on good terms.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rough translation:  
> A hui hou kākou Alola = Until we meet again Alola.

**Author's Note:**

> There are words that I find sometimes that are just so well suited to some characters and situations. 
> 
> Feel free to use them as ideas for your own stories and if you've got any suggestions, let me know in the comments!!!


End file.
